Life can sometimes feel like a bit of a rollercoaster. Sometimes we’re faced with highs that can make us feel on top of the world, and other times we’re faced with lows that can make us feel stuck. And then, there are the loops that can make us feel like we’re stuck in the same place. Let’s talk about that one today.
Since we have a perception of time, we’re constantly looking ahead at the future. It could be something as simple as looking ahead at the weekend, those warm summer afternoons, or even Christmas morning. Or it could be an event, such as a graduation, wedding, or vacation coming up. It also could be the idea of finding your soul mate, landing your dream job, or finally paying off your debt. Regardless of the reason, we’ve all experienced that feeling where we’re more interested in the future than we are in the present moment. We probably say things along the lines of “I can’t wait for this to happen” or “things will be so much easier when that happens.” Having something to look forward to is really great motivation. Let’s face it, we probably wouldn’t grow a whole lot or feel too good if we didn’t have something to work towards. But the issue that can arise is when we’re so focused on the future that we forget to pay attention to the present moment.
Think of life as the greatest book ever written. Some chapters are going to be amazing, filled with excitement and adventure. Others will be tough to get through, but they will play a significant role in the story. And then there are the ones that feel a little duller, but they’re still important. If you were to skim through a chapter because you’re too excited to get to the next part, you’d likely miss something important – something that could impact the rest of the story. It’s good to hold onto excitement for the future chapters, but you can’t let that take away your attention for the current one your experiencing. This isn’t always the easiest thing to do, so we’re going to share 5 tips to help you with your confidence when you aren’t where you want to be yet (the keyword is yet).
5 Tips to Help You Feel More Confident When You Aren’t Where You Want To Be (yet!)
1. Everything is temporary
The first thing is that you need to know is that everything in life is temporary – the good, the bad, and the otherwise. The season of life you’re in is temporary. This feeling is temporary. In fact, you can even look at it as though the only true constant in your life is yourself. While your interests and opinions will change over the years, you will always be there, standing by your side along the way. This means it’s important to be kind to yourself, especially if you aren’t where you need to be, and to remember that this season of life is temporary.
2. In the wise words of John Lennon, life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans
It’s true. Sometimes we can feel so focused on the end destination that we forget to appreciate the journey. We fill our minds with things such as “I’ll be happy when _____” or “things are going to be so much easier when _____.”
Like we just said, everything is temporary. Having things to work towards is extremely important because it gives you hope and provides you with an opportunity for growth, but you can’t go through the present moment with blinders on. Does this mean that you need to love everything about where you are right now? Of course not. But you’ll never be this young again, so find a way to step back and try to find some beauty in the chaos.
3. Your future is not a mirror of your present situation
If you were to imagine life as one big timeline where you can look straight into your future, saying things such as “I’ll never be able to afford a vacation,” or, “I’m going to be broke forever” is basically like you’re holding up a mirror that’s blocking your vision. When you become so fixated on your current position that you assume the same for your future, it becomes difficult to see opportunities when they present themselves.
There almost needs to be a happy medium between honouring and loving where you are now, and being able to see more for your future. Focus on turning your “I can’t”’s into “I wonder if I could”’s, and look for possibilities to prove yourself. This puts you into the mindset that you are capable of achieving your dreams and living your best life, which will help your brain look for confirmations to prove it’s true.
4. See if you can incorporate parts of your future into your present
If you were to envision your dream life, what would it look like? What are the sorts of things you’re dreaming of? How do you carry yourself? Where possible, try to incorporate some of those things into your daily life. For example, let’s say you’re in the middle of school and you’re dreaming of what it’ll be like when you’re done: naturally, you’re not going to be able to blow off your homework and completely start your new life, but you can look at your daily habits. Think about what your morning routine will be like, and see if there are ways to start it now. This may take a little creativity, but it takes away the mindset of “this is now, that is then,” and instead, have you look at your life as an overall opportunity for greatness.
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5. Love yourself first
Life happens in seasons – some seasons will be iconic, where you seem to be surrounded by the best people, the best luck, and the best opportunities. Some seasons are more stressful, strenuous, and uncomfortable – unfortunately, this is sort of just how life works. The important thing you need to remember is to love yourself along the way.
For a lot of us, it may feel easier to love ourselves when life is going well, but you need to remember that you also deserve to be kind and patient with yourself when things aren’t going as well, too. When you focus on always loving yourself first, you’ll likely find it easier to be there for yourself through every season that life throws your way.