Tasha asked me if I would write a blog post for The Edited about self-love. To be completely honest here, I stared at her message for about 30 minutes before responding something along the lines of “I’ll think about it”. Here I am, likely over a year later… trying this again.
Now, to explain a little bit about the hesitation here… I’ve been struggling with some pretty intense anxiety and depression among other things for as long as I can remember, so the thought of me putting myself out there was (and still is) absolutely daunting. So I’ve decided to talk about my struggles briefly and anonymously.
I guess we will get right into it!
I started writing this about a year ago while laying in a warm bath, candlelit, a glass of wine within arm’s reach. Since then, I’ve experienced loss of all kinds. Jobs, relationships, friendships, etc. I’ve taken stress leaves, medical leaves for unforeseen events, and let out multiple good cries and panics while my other half comforted and held me in my shut down state.
Originally my story was going to be about how self-love is making a nice warm tea, enjoying dinner with those you love, a nice warm bath. But since then I’ve learned that self-love can be contacting a suicide hotline when you’ve fallen so deep. Self-love can be letting yourself completely crumble in front of those that care for you. Self-love is absolutely accepting that you are the way you are, and that you are doing everything you can to get back to that positive mindset again.
So get up, clean your room, contact those that help you, run that warm bubble bath. Self-love is whatever you interpret it as.