The holidays can sometimes feel downright stressful. They tend to bring up a ton of emotions, which can quickly leave us feeling pretty overwhelmed. Valentine’s Day is no exception.
Valentine’s Day can feel freakin’ miserable when you’re single. You’re basically reminded that you’re single by the fact that when you venture into any store or online shop, you’re met with countless dating ads, and your social media feed is quickly met with everyone else’s perfect relationship.
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Despite how it may feel, you’re not alone
Social media can be extremely isolating at times. People can pick and choose exactly what they want to share, which means our feeds tend to fill up with perfectly curated lives. Now, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing at all – who doesn’t want to put their best foot forward? Valentine’s Day, however, sort of emphasizes how/why this can become a problem.
On Valentine’s Day, we typically see countless images of people in presumably happy relationships, which can cause a person to feel like they are the only single one in the world. While this, of course, isn’t true, it may still be difficult to remember while scrolling through post after post.
Regardless of how it may feel, you are not alone. Valentine’s Day is just a day that will pass, and life will continue moving along. In the meantime, let’s talk about 5 things you need to remember if you’re single on Valentine’s Day.
5 Things to Remember if You’re Single for Valentine’s Day
1. It’s a made-up holiday
Okay, well, that is partially true. The legend of St. Valentine dates backs to third century Rome, where there were at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus. It wasn’t until the end of the fifth century that February 14th was declared as Valentine’s Day, and many years later when people started treating it as a day of love. People began exchanging handwritten love notes and cards to their friends and lovers, which eventually turned into the commercialized holiday we know today. To learn about the history of Valentine’s day, check it out here, but it’s important to remember that this isn’t the be-all-end-all epitome of romance. Despite how it may feel, remember that being alone on Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean you’re behind or not deserving at all. It’s simply a day in the winter where we can warm up our hearts with a little extra love.
2. You can still celebrate with your friends or loved ones
When people first began recognizing Valentine’s Day as a holiday, they treated it as a day of love, including their friends and family members. In other words, you don’t just need to have a significant other to celebrate love. Pick up a treat for your fur baby, send a family member a handwritten card to tell them how much you care, or even meet up with some friends (via Zoom if possible for pandemic purposes) for some wine. It’s important to both focus on and prioritize all of the relationships in our lives, not just one romantic one.
3. It’s the perfect time to work on yourself
Life happens in seasons – you may go through periods where you are more confident and self-assured, and you may go through other times where you find yourself struggling more. In other words, you need to be patient with yourself and realize that you’re going to need different things, depending on where you are in life. Society loves to point out our flaws and then turn around to sell us the solution. The days around Valentine’s Day maybe a little extra challenging if you’re single because it may feel like your own perceived flaws are being magnified for the world to see. In reality, however, being single is not a flaw at all. Unhealthy criticism, however, can become a flaw as it fuels our insecurities and self-doubt by placing our worth into the hands of someone else. Use this season of life as an opportunity to learn more about why you’re feeling the way you are and to work on yourself. Self-love and self-growth are always incredible things.
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4. Your worth is not dependent on your relationship status
This is extremely important to remember: your worth is not dependent on your relationship status. You aren’t behind if you are single, and you haven’t hit the jackpot if you’re married. Focus more on cultivating meaningful relationships with the people around you, as well as yourself. Far too often, people feel as though they need to check off certain boxes in order to be successful or worthy. When you focus more on the fact that you’re single, or on the things you’re lacking or missing out on, you may find yourself dating people who aren’t right for you. Instead, realize you don’t need a relationship to start living the life of your dreams – to start the activities you want to do, to travel to the places you want to do, to advance your career in the ways you want to. When you do finally meet the person for you, they will end up adding something additional to your life, instead of taking something away, or being your entire life.
5. Your person is out there
Being told that there is someone out there for you can feel like one of those annoying points that get thrown around when you’re single, but it’s true. Would it be great if you had already met them and they got to celebrate this Valentine’s Day with them? Of course. However, one day, when you’re spending Valentine’s Day with them, you won’t concern yourself with the years you spent it alone. Try to enjoy this season of your life, and remember that it won’t last forever.
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