We’ve all been in situations where our mindset gets rocky, but we can’t really step away to work on it. Maybe we just had a rude customer a work, a presentation that didn’t go the way we planned, or a meeting that couldn’t end sooner. These times are particularly tough when we still need to make it through the rest of the day.
Our mindset impacts everything from how we feel about ourselves, to the things we’re willing to do, to the goals and dreams we set out to achieve. It can be our biggest cheerleader or the number one thing standing in the way of our dream life. It feels the impact when something happens that makes us question our worth or makes us feel bad, and can leave us feeling like we aren’t good enough. The faster we can shift our mindset at the moment, the sooner we can feel like the badass babes we are.
Today we’re talking about a quick, temporary fix that you may find useful during these situations – but we’re using the word fix pretty loosely. This is more of a bandaid fix or something to tide you over until you can really tackle your feelings. This doesn’t:
- Go deep into what happened: you can’t make changes going forward if you don’t analyze the situation to figure out what happened.
- Look at why it happened: what was the underlying issue, and can we do anything differently going forward.
- Tackle the shadow work to help prevent it from happening again: dive into the deeper reasons about why something upset you or why your mindset may be a little iffy from it.
During this time, you must avoid three main things:
- Talking with negative people: it’s going to feel more challenging to shift your mindset quickly if you are speaking with negative folks.
- Bashing yourself: regardless of what happened or whose fault it was, you need to be on your side. At the end of the day, you need to be on your team.
- Lashing out: take a deep breath and try to remain calm during the situation.
3 Steps To Shift Your Mindset In The Moment
1. Remove yourself from the situation
You cannot heal in the same environment that made you sick. Physically removing yourself from a situation may not be an easy task, but try to distance yourself. This could look like sitting in your car, going for a walk, grabbing a coffee, or even going to the washroom. Try to put space between you and the situation/trigger, whatever that looks like for you. Remember to stay safe, be aware of your surroundings, and try not to walk anywhere too distracted.
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2. Shift the focus onto yourself
If you can’t step away from the situation, just start on this step. Otherwise, once you’ve removed yourself, it’s time to bring the focus back to yourself. Bring your awareness to at least three things you love (or even like) about yourself. This is actively drawing your mindset away from the negative situation and onto your accomplishments and wins – try to be your own hype person. Additionally, name something positive from your day. This is really difficult to do in the moment, especially if you are feeling like your day is all bad. Our brain loves to look for confirmations for how we’re feeling – when we’re in a negative mindset and focusing on the not-so-great parts of our day, our brain will point out all of the things it can find to confirm that. Focusing on the positives in an attempt to reverse this process. Start with something even as small as your coffee this morning, or hitting a green light that your normally hit red. After you have thought of something, try thinking of something else.
3. Start listing off everything you are grateful for
The third and final step is to start listing off things you are grateful for. Depending on what you have available to you, try to write this down – you can use your phone if you need to, but a pen and paper is preferred because it forces you to slow down your thoughts. Write down as many things as you can think of that you are grateful for, regardless of how big or small they may be. These things may include:
- your breakfast this morning
- your phone
- the sun shining
- your best friend
- your partner
- your new purse
- Red – Taylor’s Version
- your car
- your strength
- your determination
- graduation school
- your pets
Again, this is a temporary fix and should be customized to fit your own needs/the situation you’re dealing with. Remember: this feeling will pass, pinky promise.