What does success look like to you? If you close your eyes, what do you picture as your dream life?
We all have different goals, dreams, and aspirations. And because of that, people love to tell us what we should dream. They’ll tell us to dream of something safe, or something that we’re uninterested in but is lucrative, or to give up because we’re not capable of x, y, and z. Regardless of what anyone may say, your dreams are important. Why? Because they belong to you.
When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won’t come up with a handful of mud either.
– Leo Burnett
Also read: Is Your Mindset Holding You Back?
It’s important to note that there isn’t a magic formula for attracting your dream life to suddenly start living large tomorrow. The reality is that things take time, hard work, and great timing. However, these steps will help you take the right steps to start getting closer to living the life of your dreams.
10 Tips for Attracting Your Dream Life
1. Focus on what you want
As obvious as it may sound, focus on what you want. It can be so easy to get hung up on all of the things you don’t want, such as “I don’t want to be broke,” or, “I don’t want to be single.” While on the surface it may sound like you are focusing on what you want (ie: to not be broke or single anymore), there’s actually still a minor, yet significant difference. Focusing on the things you don’t want essentially means you’re placing your attention on something you don’t want. Our brains are super powerful, but don’t exactly pay attention to the “don’t’s” and the “not’s” in a sentence. Instead, it will likely focus on the word “broke” or “single.” This can be confusing, so let’s break it down.
Our brains love to be right and tend to look for confirmations that validate their beliefs. When you say I don’t want to be broke or I don’t want to be single, it hears “I am broke,” or, “I am single.” It then looks for confirmations to confirm that belief. However, when you focus on what you want, such as being financially stable or in a loving and healthy relationship, your brain will likely see opportunities when they present themselves. There’s much more that goes into this than just thinking about what you want, but it’s an extremely important starting point.
2. Get specific
Part of rewriting your thoughts from focusing on what you don’t want to what you do want is getting specific with what that looks like. For example, if you are looking to rewrite the phrase, “I don’t want to be broke,” try picking something specific to focus on. This could look like saving $10,000 in an emergency fund or having at least $500 in your chequing account at all times. This gives you actionable steps to start working towards your goals, even if they’re just small at the start.
3. Be grateful for what you have
When you focus on the good, the good gets better. This isn’t just a catchy needle-point quote, there’s actually a lot of validity in it. Constantly criticizing the things you have or focusing on what you don’t have is just not a nice feeling. However, feeling grateful for what you have now is a great way to feel good now. This doesn’t mean that you need to stay exactly where you are forever, but it will likely help with your stamina while you focus on building the life you dream of.
Also read: 7 Gratitude Practices
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4. Believe it’s possible
Whatever it is that you want (financial stability, a loving relationship… anything) believe it is not only possible but specifically possible for you. If you don’t believe something is possible, you will likely feel stuck, or possibly defeated, before you begin. If you believe something is possible for other people, but not yourself, you may find yourself giving up at the first hurdle.
5. Identify your limiting beliefs
Our limiting beliefs can sort of be looked at as that little voice in the back of your head that tells you that you aren’t good enough for your dreams, only a little more complex. Our subconscious brain (essentially) files away tons of information so we don’t need to be bombarded with it daily. Only, it goes back for our entire lives. Picture that scene from Suits where Patrick J. Adams and Meghan Markle get totally bombarded with files to sift through to find what they’re looking for. This is sort of like your limiting beliefs where you have countless files you need to go through to uncover what’s there.
For example, if your parents used to always fight about money and bills when you were young, you likely would have filed that information away in little kid-sized pieces. This could have looked like: money = not enough = hard to come by = makes people scream. Sometimes these limiting beliefs may show themselves in your adulthood by specifically saying “I don’t know how to save money, it’s just not possible,” or through actions, such as spending your rent money on shoes because subconsciously you believe that’s what you’re worth. Understanding your limiting beliefs can be extremely complicated and will generally take a ton of soul searching. One extremely effective way to uncover trauma and limiting beliefs is by speaking with a licensed therapist.
Also read: 10 Mindset Hacks
6. Begin working towards your goals
Unfortunately, it’s not enough to just think about your goals and hope for the best: you need to take action. Small progress is still progress, so if your goal is to meet your soulmate, one small step could be signing up for a dating site.
7. Take note of the people around you
There’s an old expression that goes, “you’re most like the 5 people you spend most of your time with.” You likely have similar beliefs to them, similar interests, and a comparable income. This isn’t to say that spending time with people who have different interests is bad and you shouldn’t be around them at all. What it is to say, however, is that if you are looking at attracting your dream life, it’s good to find people who are already there (or, closer than where you are). You’ll be much more motivated and inspired when you have a group of people who know it’s possible and are rooting for your success.
8. Ask for help
Despite how it may feel, you’re not alone. We live in such an incredible time where we have access to countless resources at our fingertips. Reach out to experts. Read success stories. Google and Google until you can’t Google anymore. People who have been there and know what they are doing will likely be able to anticipate mishaps before they arise.
9. Focus on the wins and the lessons
Mistakes are going to happen. Things are going to go wrong, and you may even find yourself questioning if you really want (or feel like you deserve) this success. Focus on your wins and accomplishments, and remember to be proud of how far you’ve come. Focus on the lessons, and see what you can learn from this situation. Change takes time, and criticizing yourself along the way isn’t exactly productive or constructive. See what you can learn, how you can grow, or what you can do differently, and release the guilt.
Also read: 10 Ways to Stay Motivated
10. Believe that you are worth it
You know how we JUST talked about limiting beliefs? We’re going to touch on the biggest limiting belief to really drive the point home. You need to believe that you are worth it. Wholehearted believe it. Because when you believe you are worth it, you can make magic happen.